"How About a Bomb?" -- An Excerpt from the Novel "A Dancing Bear"

"How about a bomb?" said Warren.Gus rallied,sure the bomb went off at the exact moment the
straightening a finger at him. "That might be more likebike hit the bloke. Wouldn't we? I mean, we wouldn't
it, Wozz.""How about a nail bomb?" offered Col.Guswant it go off early, would we? Not even by a few
said, "I tend to think not. I like to think of myself asseconds. Because then you'd have the farcical
a bit of a gentleman bandit. A nail bomb, that's thesituation of this flaming fucking skeleton just rolling
type of thing could give us a bad name."Blue said:towards the guy at about two miles an hour. And
"What about a suicide bomb?""Expand," Gus said."Youwhat sort of statement would that make? Frankly, I
know. You just drive right up to him in a van packeddoubt the bike'd even stay upright. Even if it did, the
with explosives.""I'm listening Blue -- provided you'rebloke could just step out of the way of it."He
not referring to my Kombi.""It doesn't even have topensively tapped the hotplate. He was vexed. "By
be a van, Gus. You can do it in a ute, whatever. I'vethe same token," he slowly went on, "we wouldn't
even heard of some freak doing it on a motorbike.want it to go off too late, either. What would we be
The bomb was actually strapped to him."Gus was stilllooking at then? This cat on a motorbike just ploughs
interested. "You've got a bike, Blue. You volunteeringinto the wall of the guy's house or office or
to be the freak?"Here Blue's enthusiasm tapered off.whatever... And then he just sits there waiting to
He looked solemnly down into his beer. "I can't Gus.explode. Assuming he's survived the stack. And then
My licence got suspended mate. I took a joyridemaybe ten minutes later or so he blows, by which
while I was pissed."Gus chuckled dismissively, movingtime our target'd pretty obviously be well out of
back over to the hotplate. "As if that matters, youthere. Or is Blue meant to dismount from the
spastic." He was turning the steaks again. How manywreckage and just sort of run after him till the thing
sides did he think a steak had? "Mind you," he saidgoes off? Fuck me. This is actually a lot more
thoughtfully, "your bike'd most probably lead the pigscomplicated than it sounds, isn't it? It's fair dinkum
straight back to us. And your body, for that matter.giving me a headache."He laid down the tongs and
Of course we could always claim you were rogue, Imassaged his troubled skull. Finally he sighed with
suppose. Acting off your own bat. Or maybe -- I'mresignation."You might be in luck here, Bluey. I'm
thinking aloud here -- but maybe we could just strapstarting to think we might have to shelve this one.
that much gear to you that you just get friggin'There's too many imponderables. I mean, what
vaporised.""Then they'll just use his dental records,"exactly are we meant to prang the bike into, for
Col pointed out.Blue looked on with mountingstarters? Just the front wall of his house? It doesn't
concern."Not necessarily," said Gus. "What if wevibe right. There's no class to it. His office? How do
broke into his dentist's beforehand and taxed all hiswe get the bike up there? In the lift? It's bloody two
X-rays? I've often wondered why nobody does that.storeys up. But what other option have we got? I
That way they'd have nothing to go on to make themean we can hardly just mow the guy down as he's
i.d., would they? Or you could -- and I'm just talkingwalking along the street, can we? That'd be ludicrous.
speculatively here, Blue. I'm just thinking out loud. ButWhy bother with a bomb at all, if you're already
you could knock all his teeth out, couldn't you, beforegoing to be creaming the bloke with a motorbike at
he strapped on the gear..."Gus fell into a ruminativetop speed? You can't kill the guy twice. But then if
silence. He tapped his tongs rhythmically against theyou've got no bomb... If you've got no bomb, the
hotplate. Blue watched him with deep unease, sayingwhole political element of it
nothing. Apparently his fear of displeasing Gusgoes out the window. Basically you'd be looking at
outweighed, for the moment, his fear of becoming aan everyday hit and run. The only political ingredient
strap-on motorcycle bomber."But let's think about thisbeing that the bloke on the bike has maybe got no
properly," Gus said. "Let's think about the wholeteeth.
logistics of it. For one thing, we'd have to be dead